do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
