I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
