Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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