lets start a swedish sibling band together
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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