Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
