I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize