why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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