I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize