its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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