I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
