no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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