Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
