we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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