You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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