I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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