so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
