We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's on the porch naked. Help.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
And then he peed in my hair
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