can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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