the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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