There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
barbara walters just said penis...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
