oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my shit smells like andre
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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