How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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