So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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