I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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