Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize