It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
