you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
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His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
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I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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