Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
