I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
