My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
