I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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