Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
