just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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