so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This is the high leading the old right now
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
