I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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