make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
