so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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