my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
