i don't like sucking hair
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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