I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
