I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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