Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
