i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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