just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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