Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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