just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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