Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
