You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
