ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
