So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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