if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
