Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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