I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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