I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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