i don't like sucking hair
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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